New trend: smacking a bouncing ball
When it bounced Raheem Sterling must have thought, I could just smash this now. So he did. Pow and bang, into the net. A goal for Chelsea. Terrible, I hated this.
Of all the fun and impressive things Liverpool did to their visitors from Old Trafford on Sunday, my favourite was Mo Salah's first goal. This was, to be clear, Liverpool's fourth goal. Of seven. They won 7-0. Seven goals in total, against none.
Anyway, I like this goal. Don't love it — wrong team. More of that coming. But I like it. Salah was looking a little bereft, a little Liverpool 22/23, a little like his latest chance to score had become his latest whiff. But the ball was hanging around, bouncing, and there's a barely perceptible moment when you can tell Salah is thinking, oh, I like that. It's the millisecond before he turns and smacks it on the full half volley in off the bar.
I got less pleasure from Raheem Sterling's goal against Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League on Tuesday night, apart from the tingle of recognising a pattern. A low cross from Ben Chilwell — saw enough of those on Saturday, thanks — got to Sterling in the box. And he gave it a big old air kick, getting it caught between his legs instead of scoring, like a stupid idiot — hilarious. But the ball was sticking around, and even though his attempt to take it around Marco Reus was clumsy and bad, Sterling got a lot out of it. The ball span up off Reus' toe and Sterling's knee, and when it bounced Sterling must have thought, I could just smash this now. So he did. Pow and bang, into the net. A goal for Chelsea. Terrible, I hated this.
It reminded me of Georginio Rutter's big muff at Stamford Bridge on Saturday. It was very similar. Jackie Harrison had aimed a cross towards Battersea Dog's Home, and when it fell to Luke Ayling instead, he poked it low towards the six yard box. A low cross, a big chance, and Rutter gave the ball a daft miskick instead of burying it in the bag. Sterling did the same thing at the same end a few days later, and don't let the fact he scored gull you. Sterling got the chance to from a lucky bounce and he smashed it in. Rutter got no bounce. Ergo no smashing.
Come back Jesse Marsch, all is forgiven. (Just, like, talk less this time.) Turns out, chaos can be good! People spend hours trying to apply precise rules to our favourite sport, forgetting that when a game kicks off the power transfers to twenty-two ruffians who take the round ball they're given and kick it around all over the damn place. When Salah and Sterling scored they were not being precise, technical or elegant. They were being big strong lads with hefty legs, in the right place at the right time, Dycheing the fuck out of a bouncing ball.
This is what Leeds need. A ball bouncing back to Rutter when he messes up, so he can smack the rebound in properly. And yes, Marsch's tactics placed some hefty bets on this sort of thing happening. So why didn't it work? Because Marsch's focus on the penalty spot filled up all the space around it where the ball could bounce, with people. A size 5 Nike Flight can't bounce kindly onto your kicking foot if ten other polyester clad bozos are also on that path. You can't whomp it through them, either. And hoping for handballs would be unsporting.
It worked for Salah and Sterling because they were sent to plunder in something Leeds have not seen much this season: space, in which the ball could do its strange things, into which they could move and act and pummel.
My proposal, then, to help Leeds United score some goals, is this. Keep the players quite far apart so they're out of each other's way and the defenders have to spread out, and then when the ball bounces in the penalty area, have one Leeds player get there really quick to volley it as hard as they can. Fully booted, no 'keeper will cope. It works for teams I don't like! I think it's worth a try. ⭑彡