Picturing promotion, Paul Heckingbottom's way
There is more than one way to get promotion from the Championship — there has to be, because there is only one Bielsa.
This would, I think, be a story arc too far. For Leeds United to be relegated in the same season as Paul Heckingbottom's Sheffield United are promoted to the Premier League would feel like the ultimate kick in the groin of the Marcelo Bielsa era at Leeds, the story's conclusion being that none of the fun we had was necessary or helpful in the end.
Hecky tends to gloss over his spell at Leeds now. There was a time, in the early weeks of Bielsa, when he could be tempted into talking about the plans he had, the things he was going to do differently. By about half-time of the 2018/19 opener against Stoke City, all that was pretty much irrelevant. Then Heckingbottom went to Hibernian and was humbled, and retreated to South Yorkshire and the safety of Sheffield United's Under-23s. There are some people who are synonymous with a region for a reason, and Hecky's justification for hating Leeds as a kid — that's just how it were playin' on t'fields b'hind 'is ol' mam's house — were spoken like someone for whom twenty miles up the M1 were twenty too far.
That's not just a joke, it might actually be theory, because nothing about Sheffield United's promotion this season feels transferable beyond the Steel City. It has been won against a chaotic background of takeover battles, triumphant owner Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad bin Abdulaziz al Saud turning off funding, Nigerian businessman Dozy Mmobuosi putting in £8.5m to keep the club going ahead of a takeover that now won't take place, and £2m from their FA Cup run paying off bills to other clubs to get their transfer embargo lifted. The hotel at Bramall Lane is derelict, and so was the training ground in summer. Maybe it's a growing up in South Yorks thing, but this seems to be just how Paul Heckingbottom likes it.
Apparently Hecky nearly didn't become a manager, telling Stuart McCall, Wayne Jacobs and David Wetherall, when they were together at Bradford City, “There’s too many dickheads in football,” and, “I’d rather have a fight than a beer with too many in the game," so he was off to become a plumber when he retired. His teammates told him instead to be part of the change, but personally I'm not seeing how this season's Blades, with McCall as Hecky's assistant and Oli McBurnie up front, are contributing to any dickhead eradication from the game.
But you can feel what this anti-dickhead project is all about from some of the other stories of their successful season. Heckingbottom at half-time, punching a tactics board so hard he bled. A 'punishment wheel' of fines and forfeits for staff. Pre-training quizzes. There's a story in The Athletic of James McAtee arriving on loan from Manchester City, and when the teenager kept missing the target with shots in training, being asked, "Are you sure you've come from Manchester City?" You can imagine Stuart McCall getting stuck into him, Billy Sharp taking him down a peg or two.